Back in the Saddle.....Yet Again

Dear Internet,

I'm officially back after like a 4 year hiatus. Seriously I think it's been a full 4 years if my review of previous posts is correct. A lot has changed in that time! I started dating my best friend, went off to PA school for two years, graduated with a Master's degree, got engaged, moved back here, started a new job, got married..........and in the meantime got unmotivated, addicted to food and really chubby.

So, here I am, deciding on a Saturday night to get the blog going again. Why, you might ask? Well, because I think I'm finally getting to the point where I'm sick of my bullshit, and I realized that at this point 4 years ago I was in the best shape of my life and using a blog to help me stay somewhat on track. I guess in that time vlogging has become more of a thing but I don't feel like talking to myself on a computer screen. So I'm giving this a go again. Not sure if I'm going to be able to make this a daily thing with my life being much crazier than it used to be, but I'm going to try and stay as up to date as possible.

To start things off, a little recap of how we got back here.....

Honestly, I'm not sure why I stopped blogging in the first place. It was a lot of fun and reading back through some of my previous posts tonight reminded me of all the great times I had. What probably happened is that I likely fell of the wagon again and was embarrassed to talk about it. I'm pretty sure that's what went down there.

Looks like I left off in June 2013. Pretty much don't remember much of that summer other than working a bunch and just getting to the gym as often as possible. I started dating Matt in August of that year and I remember doing another Paleo challenge that ran until my birthday. Did really great with that one, I remember losing even more weight and feeling awesome. I'm not sure if that's the one where I had to do Helen as a baseline workout or not...but I do remember shaving like 3 minutes off my time of whatever workout I did (crazy the things we remember). After that is when things started to go to shit. I remember being in the throes of PA school applications and so here comes the stress eating. And it was bad. I really don't know how I don't have heart disease or diabetes yet because I was doing some pretty shameful things with bags of chips and jars of nutella. I was also just reckless. I'd just come off a paleo challenge, thought I was some sort of badass, and went balls to the wall with all the crap food I'd been holding myself back from. I was going out to eat a lot. I was stress eating on the daily. Working out took a backseat. I thought that whenever my boyfriend and I would meal prep it would be a good idea to eat as much as he could. I lost sight of my priorities and just let myself go. And then had the nerve to be shocked when I put like 20 pounds back on within a matter of months.

But it didn't stop at 20 pounds....nope. By the time 2014 hit I was in deep. But it was ok because I got an interview to one of my top pick PA schools. And then got waitlisted......for 3 months. And then got rejected from all the rest of the schools I applied to. And it was around that point that things got really bad at my volunteer job. So, I said fuck it and rode out the rest of the winter wearing baggy hoodies and being thankful I'd had the forethought to keep one of my larger duty shirts while putting on more weight. I still worked out, but not nearly as often and not nearly as hard as I was before, so I was still putting on weight.

Fast forward a few months and I get into PA school. Thank God, right? I'm supposed to be happy, right? Sure, but was I? Nope! Now I signed myself up for a long distance relationship. But it's ok, I've got a few more months to enjoy life so let's start working out a little more and caring a little more. Which, thankfully kept me from putting on more weight during this time, but it was only a temporizing measure until PA school hit.

PA school was probably the hardest thing I've ever done and also probably the lowest point in my life. My health hit rock bottom and I'm just now starting to feel ready to fight back. I basically sat on my ass all day long, whether it was in class, studying, what have you. Physical activity was scarce. My one priority became just to survive and that's all I cared about. So how did I choose to survive? Eating. My first semester alone I packed on like 25 pounds. My metabolism is slow to begin with, and then I added inactivity and a lot of Chinese food to it and it just slowed to a crawl.

I won't bore you much more with all the details of how I wrecked my body during those 2 years, but I will tell you that in that time I lost a ton of muscle mass, packed on a lot of pounds, I was constantly in pain from my back (which granted, has always been bad but I'd compensated with working out and keeping my core strong) and I had also developed sciatica. All at 25 years old. Go me!

So I get back from PA school. Now with a wedding to plan. Nbd, that'll be great motivation to get my ass back to the gym! So I got myself back to BoomTown just a little over a year ago. And let me tell you, it's been a struggle. I still had a bad back. I was terrified of hurting myself because half of the movements I was doing hurt my back in some way and I was sore as hell, all the time. So I didn't really re-dedicate myself the way I was hoping to. In this time, Matt had also joined and I had also figured out that with my job, the only way I was guaranteed some gym time was 5AM. A time of day I make a habit of not seeing very often. And I've struggled with it ever since. Sure I was going to the gym like once or twice a week, just often enough that people didn't forget what I looked like, but not enough for my body to change. And even though my back felt a little better after working out and moving, that decrease in pain was STILL not enough to get me off my ass. So I just plugged along like that pretty much up until my wedding.

Now, in the meantime, that's not to say I didn't try to change things up at least a little. I started seeing a chiropractor who put some major work into me. I put her through her paces every time she saw me. She found my SI joints are very unstable, my lower back, pelvic muscles and hamstrings are constantly tight and things overall were just not moving the way they should. I had like 1/4 of the range of motion I used to have. But within a few sessions my sciatica had gone away and I was already feeling better. And then a few months down the road, I started seeing Amanda, a coach at BoomTown and a massage therapist who helped even more with the muscular issues I was having. Then there's another chiropractor at the office that's been making sure I'm relearning how to do movements like deadlifts and olympic lifts safely again because my form was downright scary. So, from that front, I can honestly say I'm so thankful to be done with all that pain. My back still hurts and it gets tweaked every once in a while, but it doesn't even come close to comparing to where I was a year ago. I literally never want to be in that kind of pain again.

Here we are now, in the present. My wedding is done, we went on an incredible honeymoon and I can tentatively say that life may actually be able to settle out now. If you were looking for like this horrible life-changing event that would scare me straight, I'm unfortunately about to disappoint you because that's not how this went down.

One of the owners at BoomTown has started really focusing on the nutrition aspect of the gym. So she now runs a nutrition program that people can sign up for. There's not really a focus on Paleo anymore, it's just how can you get to be a healthier you and have better relationships with food. We'd talked about me doing it, but I had told her it needed to wait until after the wedding because I knew I wouldn't dedicate myself the way I needed to. And now that I'm post-wedding, it's time to hit that up. So last weekend both Matt and I met with her and officially started with Be Well Blueprint. And while I have to check in with her on a weekly basis and log my food on MyFitnessPal, it got me thinking of other ways that I could work on staying accountable.

While this past week has been nuts, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I guess the thing that bugs me the most is that I have no idea when I lost my ability to cope, and my ability to just keep getting back up again. I had 2013 by the horns. I had my routine figured out, I knew what I wanted in life, I was competing at CrossFit and doing well, I had just let my best friend out of the friend zone, I had my dog. For the most part, that year was really awesome. But it just seems like one day I mentally became very weak and I just stopped getting back up. I became unable to cope with stressors that came my way. Granted, these weren't your every day first world problems, but I keep wondering why I wasn't able to handle them. Either way, the past is the past, I went through hell and came out the other side, but I wonder sometimes what it's going to take for me to get my mojo back. I look back at my previous facebook statuses about the PRs I was hitting and how active I was and I'm like "what's it gonna take Ally? You did it once, you should be able to do it again." And then I read through some of the posts I made here before starting this one and it's sad to see the things that I used to be doing - working out 4-5 times a week, running on the side, working nights and making it all seem so easy.

A lot has changed in my life since then so in some ways I know I'm not 100% getting back to 2013, and that's not what I want. I just want the motivation and the drive back. It's taken a lot of trying to pinpoint what's been holding me back in the past year and it is 100% mental. I want to blame my body for it, but I can't anymore because that's fixed. It's all in my head and I don't know how to tell it to stop. I want to see the improvements I'm making and feel even more motivated by them. I want to be mentally tough again. Because the girl I am right now is not the girl that used to do 60-70 burpees in one workout and say "wow that sucked....be back tomorrow." I'm a lot more fearful now - maybe I fear the pain, maybe I fear failure, maybe I fear I will never get back to doing the things I used to do. Maybe it's just easier to be fat and not sore all the time. Who the fuck knows anymore. But I'm just praying that I'm at a point now where I'm actually ready to tackle this and at least try to be better, both physically and mentally. Because I have things that I want to do. I want to travel and be able to do active stuff without worrying about my ability to do it. Hell, I'll start small - it'd be nice to be able to sit comfortably on a plane again. I want to hit PRs again, and go Rx in workouts and actually look forward to working out. And maybe, deep down, very deep, I want to be able to run again.....that's at the bottom of the list though because running will always suck. But most of all, I want to be mentally strong again. I need to be. Because this emotional wreck I've turned into is just not fun. I get easily overwhelmed and I just shut down. I thankfully don't give up or I wouldn't be where I am today, but there have been some serious close calls. And I don't want to be that person for the rest of my life.

I don't really have a great way to round this out. I've always sucked at conclusion paragraphs. But at the end of the day, maybe getting my thoughts down will actually help me sift through them a little easier. Or at the very least will give me some interesting reading material in a few years. Or maybe I'll realize that I'm royally screwed up and should go see a real therapist. Who knows. Anything is possible I guess.

If you made it this far, you're crazy...just kidding! You're awesome for sticking it out because I tend to ramble. A lot. I don't expect to reach a huge audience with this, it's more for me than anything else. But either way, hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Spread Your Wings

...and by wings I mean your latissimus dorsi...just a little nerdiness for your morning <_<

Anywho. It's been a good week. My back/shoulders are wrecked, but feeling good. It's a sweet soreness. Today as I was absentmindedly stroking my muscles (no that doesn't make me a meathead), I could feel just how much muscle I've built in my back and shoulders. It's pretty astounding. My body is literally becoming a machine. I'mma be one hot chick once this fat goes away. But I'm digressing into my narcissistic self...

Been going to the gym all week. Today's my first day off because I'm working all day. I've been very good about my eating. I'd say I'm about 99% paleo - the other 1% coming from the mayonnaise that I occasionally put in my sandwich-y foods and the Pam I use to make over easy eggs. Other than that I've been a clean eating machine since Tuesday. I was awful over the weekend so it's been a relief. I even tried a new recipe! There's a well known motivational poster that says "Eat clean, train mean." I've revised that to say "Eat clean so you CAN train mean." I think it fits the situation better since training mean gets increasingly more difficult if you don't eat clean.

So onto the workouts!

Monday (Just Monkeying Around):

Skill:
Double-under challenge work
...then...
3 rounds
3-8 pull-ups
60s of handstand practice

MetCon:
12 min AMRAP of...
Run 200m
3 stone to shoulder (95#)
6 DB Snatch (50#, alternating)

Midline:
Turkish get-ups

Monday was kind of fun. I've been doing really well with the double unders. I got it so that I was getting consecutive sets of a double under with a couple singles in-between. Kind of makes you feel like a badass. The skill work was awesome. I noticed that I was getting my chin over the bar with relatively little effort on the green band, so I tried a couple strict pull-ups. I'm almost there! Got my eyes over the bar. So just for S's and G's, I tried a blue band and I got a pull up on my first try! Moving up in the world! With the handstands I worked on just getting on the wall and holding it for as long as possible. I have a lot more control now so getting myself on the wall isn't as much of a comedy act as it used to be. Just means my core is getting stronger.

The MetCon wasn't too bad. We hadn't run in awhile so I knew it was coming eventually. It still kills me, even when it's just 200m. I'll get there eventually though. I didn't go Rx'd for anything in that workout. I scaled the atlas stones down to 75 pounds, and the dumbbells 40 pounds. Maybe I was just being a wimp that day. Who knows. Got through three full rounds, plus the run in 12 minutes. Not too bad. I was about on track with the rest of the girls.

Monday I didn't do any crazy new foods. I wasn't very much in the mood for eating so I had brunch after I worked out (yep, I was bad and worked out on an empty stomach). Dinner was hot dogs and chips and ice cream.

Tuesday (Squat All the Things)

Skill:
Double under challenge

Strength:
1 x 20 front squat

MetCon:
5 min AMRAP
2 squat cleans (135#)
10 toes to bar
...2 min rest...
3 min AMRAP
2 squat cleans (115#)
5 toes to bar
...2 min rest...
1 min max effort squat cleans (95#)

Tuesday I sucked at double unders. I don't know what it was, but I just was not getting them. Didn't even get a single one. Pretty frustrating. Front squats went really well. I was at 88 pounds last week and felt pretty good so I decided to make the big jump this week to 103 pounds. It was hard, but I finished all 20 reps. I'll probably add on another 20 or 30 pounds before we start getting into 1 reps.

The MetCon was a LOT of fun. Remember that person back in January that said she hated squat cleans? Yeah, not anymore. Love squat cleans, love them. I'm hoping working on them will help a little with power cleans, but we'll see. I can tell my form is definitely getting a lot better and I'm starting to understand how everything kind of works together. Either way, the workout went really well. We had Chad pushing us on which made it even better. He told us that the point of this workout was to really push ourselves with the weight. Since we were only doing 2 reps at a time and the prescribed weights were decreasing as we moved through the workout, he wanted us focusing more on pushing our weight limits instead of trying to rip through everything as quickly as possible. He was telling us that a lot of people reached new PRs, and got low rep counts, but still worked their asses off. My previous 1 RM for squat cleans was 113 so I knew 135 was a teeny bit ambitious. I ended up going with 123 for the first set, 103 for the second, and 83 for the third. It was challenging, but not impossible. The first AMRAP I got 2 rounds + 5, the second AMRAP I got 2 rounds + 1, and I got 7 max efforts. For the weight I was using, I did really well.

For breakfast Tuesday I had a 4 egg omelette with cut up zucchini and turkey hot dogs and an orange on the side. Had a protein shake after my workout. Lunch was open-faced turkey burgers with apple buns. To save a little money I got Trader Joe's frozen turkey burgers, which ended up being delicious. Cooked them up in my cast iron pan with a little ground pepper. I layered them on top of a slice of apple, with a little mayonnaise spinach and a slice of tomato. Perfect lunch. All the food groups and very filling. Dinner I went out to Red Robin. I can honestly say for once I put in the effort to try and eat as clean as possible. I looked up the menu beforehand and looked at their gluten free options. They offer the option of wrapping their burgers in lettuce instead of a bun and they have a lot of substitutions for the steak fries. So for dinner I had a bruschetta chicken sandwich wrapped in lettuce with sweet potatoes on the side. I think I did pretty well for myself! Granted, I grabbed a couple onion rings and a fruity beverage, but I was happy that I found a way to eat clean at a restaurant.

Wednesday (Burpee Death)

Skill:
Double under challenge
...then..
3 rounds
6-10 dips
8-12 GHD hip extensions

MetCon:
2-4-6-8-10-12-14-16
Kettlebell Swings
Burpees

Wednesday was Day 2 of super sucking at double unders. Still don't know what it is. The dips went really well. I did them on the rings with an assistance band. I can finally get full range of motion, which is exciting. I tried them on the stable bars, but those feel 10x harder than using the rings. Don't ask me how that makes any kind of sense.

The MetCon was brutal. Fuck burpees. There were 72 of them total. I was using the 35 pound kettlebell so the kettlebell swings weren't too bad. I got to the set of 14 and I wasn't able to do them unbroken anymore so I split the 14 and 16 in their respective halfs. The burpees I did really well until I got to the set of 12. I was going unbroken up until that point, which to be fair, in my world is unheard of. I got to the set of 12 and had to break it up into smaller sets. The 14 and 16 sets I barely got through. Up until that point I was going strong though, so I can't complain. 72 burpees in one workout is a lot, so to get to about the halfway point before things started going wrong isn't bad at all.

Wednesdays food was a breakfast of 2 over easy eggs, sweet potato hash and an apple with sunflower butter. Lunch was another batch of open-face turkey burgers. Dinner I made zoodles!! I finally got myself a julienne peeler and I've been waiting to try it out. I used 3 medium/large zucchini to make the noodles. I peeled the zucchini a bit beforehand because I didn't want to end up with skin noodles. While I did that, I cooked up some italian sausage. Once the sausage was done, I added vodka sauce, garlic powder, pepper and some salt and let the sausage soak that up a bit. I added in the noodles and some parmesan cheese and let the noodles cook for a few minutes. Done! And it was delicious! I feel like I can make so many recipes now! Honestly they would probably make some good "mac" and cheese. Thank God it's summer and I have easy access to zucchini.

Thursday (Because Your Shoulders Aren't Sore Enough!)
Strength:
X-WOD Style
5x5 Pendlay Rows
Standing Box Jumps (high!) 2-1-2-1-2

MetCon:
5 rounds
10 pullups
20 wall balls

I was defeated by a jump rope for the third day in a row. Was not a happy camper. X-WOD is a style where you mix a strength exercise with an explosive one. Pendlay rows are essentially a bent over row with a barbell. I got up to 83 pounds on that. Not too shabby. The women were supposed to be jumping 30". I said nay nay and grabbed the 24" box. Challenging enough for me, thank you very much. I'm still psyching myself out. I don't do well with that whole getting my body off the ground thing.

The MetCon was fairly awful. My shoulders and back were incredibly sore. I got through the first 3 rounds very strongly. I stuck to the green band pullups simply because of the high volume, and this time was my first time doing a WOD with the 14 pound medball. The last two rounds were completely brutal. My shoulders were done. If they could have up and left my body I'm fairly sure they would have. But I finished in about 14 minutes. Could have pushed through a little better, but it's done.

Food yesterday was a breakfast of 4 scrambled eggs with turkey hot dogs and an orange. Snack was a protein shake. Lunch was chicken salad with a cut up apple and walnuts over a spinach salad with tomato and olives. Delicious. Dinner was shepherd's pie. Pretty simple day yesterday. Probably ate less than I should have, but it wasn't too bad.

Now that I'm on track with how much I need to eat, I need to start cutting down on the fruit. I've been averaging two servings a day when it should be 1. I haven't been limiting myself since I've just been trying to get back to clean eating on top of making sure I'm eating enough, but now it's time to start cutting it down. I'm glad I finally figured out how much I should be eating though. I'm still using the app as a guideline and for the most part everyday I'm under my allotted amount so theoretically the pounds should start coming off again. Very excited for that. Got a lotta muscle that's waiting to make an appearance :D

I suppose I should get back to work. Have a fun day everyone!

Keep On Truckin

So since I'm still the worst blogger ever, I'm just going to go through a general list of things that I have been working on/still suck at from the past two weeks.

1). Double unders: This June we've started doing a Double-Under Challenge. We get daily challenge WODs emailed to us everyday, most comprising of either getting as many consecutive double unders as possible or going through drills that are made to help you with your double-unders. I've  been working on double-unders for awhile. Not seriously, but every once in awhile I give it a shot. No dice. But somehow in the past two weeks I've finally gotten it so that I can do double-unders broken up with a few singles. The goal by the end of June is to be doing consecutive double-unders. Part of the battle was finding a jump rope that works for me, but now that I've got that down, everything is peachy.

2). Handstands: Another thing I've continued progressing fairly well with, I've even started trying handstand push-ups. Lately I've been really making the push to do push-ups without having to be on my knees so I figured while I was at it I should give handstand push-ups a try. I have to do it with a couple abmats under my head so I'm definitely not getting full range of motion, just getting used to it and getting a little bend in my elbows. Unfortunately when it comes to the actual handstands themselves, I get so enthusiastic about them that I put too much momentum into it and kick myself off the wall. Who'da thunk that would ever happen? It's good though. The world is kinda awesome from upside down. I can even hold it for 30 seconds now.

3). We're now doing 20 rep front squats and I'm up to about 88 pounds. Not too bad. I think this next week I'm definitely going to make a larger jump than I have been considering 88 was fairly easy.

4). Pull-ups are eh. Last week we were doing a lot of workouts with pull-ups and I finally got so burned out from them, but this past week we did pull-ups and I was getting my chest up to the bar instead of just my chin. I took it with a grain of salt considering it was entirely possible that I had just found a new band that hadn't gotten stretched out yet, but we'll see. I've definitely been getting kind of frustrated with them lately though.

5). Box jumps. I have been terrified of those things ever since I took that spill a couple weeks ago. Like everytime I go to jump I just feel that awful moment where your foot catches. But we had a WOD that involved up and over box jumps and I was determined to get my mojo back. So I worked at it. The coach that night looked terrified watching me so he gave me a few pointers and in no time I was jumping up and over like it was nothing. Also helps that this past week we had a very box jump heavy WOD again. The practice is helping me a lot with it. And I'm glad I got back into it when I did because they've started adding in more explosive movements to our WODs since they had an explosive seminar last Saturday. So one day this week I walked in and got told that we were going to be doing really high box jumps. Prescribed was 30" for girls, just to give you an idea. I went with 24" and I made it! I was scared out of my mind but I did it! Kind of excited to go back to the 20" box since I know it's going to feel a hell of a lot easier after that.

6). I've hit a wall with the running. It doesn't help that Melissa and I haven't been able to do it consistently (most likely my fault), but when I run during the WODs I just feel like I haven't progressed at all. Should I be impatient about it? Probably not considering I went from not running at all to running and doing squats/push-ups/pull-ups/whatever else is prescribed for the day in a really intense circuit. I just feel like my body should be able to push through it a little better than it is. As far as the Couch to 5k goes, we're in Week 5 now, which is 5 minute jog, 3 minute walk for 3 rounds. It doesn't sound bad, but those 5 minute jogs are getting a little killer. We haven't been able to reach half a mile yet in one round so that's kind of a goal I'm trying to push us towards. We decided we're going to repeat that specific workout until we feel ready to progress since the workouts after this one go up to 8 minute jogs. Totally not ready for that.

7). Kind of going along with the running - I am not feeding my body enough. I've been using the calorie counter and let me tell you, it is HARD giving my body the fuel it needs. One day I really tried to get as many calories as possible and it entailed eating almost double what I'm used to. And I'm somehow supposed to do that everyday. I am going to be so sick of food. The other problem too is that it's hard to explain to an iPhone app what exactly CrossFit is, so I've been winging it with adding in the exercise just to get an idea of how many calories I may be burning. I'm sure I'm burning more than the app is telling me, which only means I have to eat even more. One day when I did running and CrossFit it calculated that I burned 1,000 calories. That's a lot! And I somehow have to make up for that in food. Bah.

8). Going along with #7 - last week was my first week going to the gym 5 times in one week. I was very proud of myself...but then I got sick, which was what led me to understand that I'm not fueling my body enough. Honestly I hate having to put so much thought into things nowadays. It was so much easier when I was going three times a week without the running. Now I go 4-5 times a week and running and my body is like Woman da hell you up to?! So to supplement things on top of my daily fish oil, I now take a Whey Protein Isolate shake after every workout and I added in One a Day. The protein shakes definitely help with the recovery or else my body would be entirely shot. I'm definitely still tired by the end of my workout week but I don't feel like a truck hit me. The One a Day is definitely helping a little bit with my energy levels and immune system support. I still have a little tickle in my throat that I can't seem to get rid of, but I recovered quickly which is good. Guess it just means I have to start putting a lot more thought into getting enough fuel and getting enough of the right fuel.

9). Biggest Loser Challenge ended. Since the paleo challenge ended, I've actually gained 4 pounds. I'm sure 3 of those 4 pounds have to do with my awful eating habits, but at the same time I've been feeling a lot more toned so I'm sure part of the added weight has been muscle. I took my measurements a couple days ago. My hips are 45" and my waist is now 38.5" so there's definitely some progress being made! Everything else was stable which I'm not surprised about. Still though...there's my motivation right there.

That's essentially been the past two weeks for me. Hopefully this week I'll be able to try out and post some new recipes. The ones I've tried lately haven't been anything special so I didn't write much about them. I've been really good about the eating the past two weeks. It all got ruined this weekend when a couple friends came into town, but I'm ready to go back. No more plateau for me! Ready to lose some more inches!

Murph and Fun

Last week wasn't incredibly eventful. Just learned some new motions and worked on a few old ones.

Monday was Memorial Day. It was a day where CrossFit gyms across the country were prescribing "Murph," a workout that was created by Lieutenant Michael Murphy. He originally named it "Body Armor," but after he died in Afghanistan, it was decided the workout would be renamed Murph and would become a Hero WOD. Now you can Rx the WOD, which is doing everything with no assistance, or you can Rx+ which was to do the entire thing wearing a 20 pound weight vest.

The full workout is:
1 mile run
100 pullups
200 pushups
300 squats
1 mile run

So on Monday, the gym did a "Memorial Day Murph and BBQ." Anyone that wanted to show up could come do the workout in the beginning and then they'd start grilling. They put a pull-up rig outside that people could use and marked out a mile out on Ridge Rd. They also added a modified and a team version of the WOD. If you did modified, you split everything in half. If you did the team version, everyone in the team runs the full mile before and after, but the reps were split between team members. Because I have yet to run a mile, I went for the modified version.

A bunch of us volunteered to do it inside, so we got everything all set up then ran outside to meet up with the people that were ready to go. Since we were doing half a mile, they just had us run around the parking lot. We started off and I was off jogging 4 times around the parking lot. Since I knew it takes me about 5 minutes to do somewhere around 4/10 of a mile, I didn't know if I'd even be making it the full half. But I did! I don't know how long it took me but I got through it and I actually wasn't tired at the end of it. If I didn't have to get to work on my 50 pullups, I would have just kept going. But anywho. The nice thing about it was that we weren't required to get all the reps done consecutively. So I broke the workout up into 10 rounds of Cindy (5 pullups, 10 pushups, 15 squats). I almost wish I'd made it so I was doing less rounds of more reps because I was dying by the 7th round. By the 8th round, I was numb. I literally could no longer feel anything. So I figured it was the best time to just keep going. I definitely didn't run the entire last half mile, got most of it, but I literally couldn't feel my legs or upper body. Finally finished with a time of 33:06, which put me in a pretty good place considering the people doing the full Murph were finishing between 50 minutes and an hour.

Tuesday I took the day off. My muscles were fairly sore and unhappy.

Wednesday I went back for more...eesh.

Skill:
8-12 GHD sit-ups
2-5 rope climbs
8-12 BB OH squats with a pause at the bottom

MetCon:
3 rounds
400 m run
30 kettlebell swings (35#)

I was not prepared to be trying rope climbs again. After doing them last week I decided that my goal was to just take it easy and go step by step. So I just got my rope climbs out of the way early. I paired up with a couple other girls and we got them done. My arms were really sore so pulling myself up was tough, but I got up one knot a couple times and called it good. I'm still not ready to go higher. I'm not afraid of physically trying to do it, I'm afraid of the fall that will ensue if I don't make it. Fear of falling 10 feet is fairly legitimate in my mind. With the sit-ups, I focused on form. Lately when I do GHD sit-ups, I feel them more in my hip than my abs. So I got some pointers from some people around me and learned how to do them right with the correct extension. The overhead squats were uneventful.

Good God the MetCon sucked. I was not up for running 3 rounds. Also doesn't help that I started out trying to keep up with everyone else and the only thing I achieved was getting winded. But I got through it. Dead last, but I finished. It was somewhere in the 11 minute range.

Thursday was actually really fun! I couldn't move afterwards...but it was fun!

Strength:
5x5 strict press

MetCon:
"E. Rist" - partner WOD
5 pullups
30 tire flips
5 pullups
30 stone to shoulder
5 pullups
30 sandbag walking lunges
*both partners do 5 pullups each, all other reps were alternating

The strict presses were kinda fun. I've never done a barbell strict press and I certainly haven't done any since I started CrossFit. I think I finally maxed out at about 73 pounds. Not too bad for a little weakling.

As awful as the MetCon looks, it was fun as hell. I'm glad they're prescribing more pullups lately because my pullup endurance just ain't there. I partnered up with someone I've never really worked with before. The name of the game is that each partner does 5 pullups then they alternate reps with the other stuff. For the tire flips and the stone to shoulder it adds up to each partner doing 15 reps. With the lunges, each person had to do the 30 reps because then it would be 15 each leg. I love tire flips. Really. I think they're the shit. Stone to shoulder are fun too, except for the part where they shred up your arms. Lunges have always been my enemy. To me, they will never get any easier. But this time I surprised myself. I think in previous times I've been overextending my leading leg leaving me with not much of a range of motion. This time I stepped forward just enough so I could touch the ground with my back leg. Who'da thunk I'd be stronger at lunges after doing that. I guess it goes to show that we are ALWAYS working on form. Even if you know something is supposed to feel uncomfortable, sometimes you're still making your life a little more difficult than it needs to be. The only thing that I hate about them prescribing pullups is that it makes it impossible for me to Rx the entire workout. Like this one for example. I Rx'd the tire flips, the lunges and the stone to shoulders, but I needed an assistance band with the pullups. Gah! One day I will no longer be defeated by pullups.

Friday I was practically gimping my way through life, but it was the last day of the workout week so I was determined to make it through.

Strength:
7 x 3 snatch balance, off the rack

MetCon:
20 burpees
then...
9-7-5 
Deadlifts
Handstand pushups (or hand release pushups)
then...
20 burpees

The strength was a lot of fun. I enjoy snatch balances. So when you come off the rack, you're holding the barbell as if you're going to do a back squat. Then it ends up being kind of a push press/overhead squat combo. The leg portion of it is to dip and end up in a full squat. The arm portion is to push the bar overhead as you dip. You're supposed to do it all at once. I don't know, I guess I just like the fluidity of it. It starts to get hard as you get heavier, but I had fun. Maxed out at 83 pounds.

The MetCon was rough. They put a 12 minute cap on it, I think I finished at like 11:40 or something. Prescribed for the deadlifts was 205 pounds, I went with 185. My 1RM for deadlift is 225 so 205 would have been way too much. Burpees always have and always will suck. They're just so full-body intensive. I think if anything, those are what really slowed me down.

That was the end to my workout week. I spent Friday and Saturday at the pool just chilling out. Felt so good to be weightless. I came away from it super sun burnt though. Oh well.

The other excitement for the week was that I finally got to go to the Public Market. I was so psyched. I went early Saturday morning after work with a couple friends. I was amazed at how much I got for just $30. I got a lot of the fruits and veggies that I love but in more bulk than I usually do. I was going to check out Seven Bridges Farm but by the time I got there I was so laden down with bags that I wasn't in the mood for standing by a glass case for a long period of time. I'm not very well-versed in meat, like with the different cuts and stuff, and I wasn't about to figure it out then. Afterwards we chilled by the pool for a couple hours and then headed off to Trader Joes. I was expecting my grocery bill to be a little lower than it has been, but then I ended up getting a lot of supply type stuff that racked it up. The other issue I had was that by the end of a long day in the sun and feeling lazy, I didn't want to cook that night so I ended up buying myself some frozen fish sticks and sweet potato fries. And this is why we don't go shopping when we're hungry. Take notes, kids.

Another thing I did this week was downloaded an app to my phone called Lose It! It's basically an app that tracks calories based on your weight loss goals and your activity level. I know when you're on paleo, if you're doing it right, you shouldn't need a calorie counter. But I've been wondering lately why I'm so ravenous somedays. I know part of it is because I haven't truly detoxed my body yet. I'm consistently 80% paleo...until I go out for dinner. Methinks I need to go back to how life was in February when I had no social life and ate at home all the time. But regardless. I downloaded this app. The only problem I see with it is that there's no way to get an app to understand the intensity of CrossFit. So I just don't enter my exercise because it's entirely inaccurate. So the app says I should be having about 1800 calories per day, which seems about right. I've gotten myself up to about that level so I'm good on that front. The problem is that I'm exercising at least once, sometimes 2 times a day, so I should probably be adding on a couple hundred to that. I mean, ultimately, I'm not stressing about it because part of this is that I need to start eating 100% clean. I'm eating the same amount as I was during the paleo challenge and I didn't go into starvation mode back then. The only thing was I'm now upping the intensity by a lot. So I may just make sure I'm taking in enough food over the course of the day. I have all these motivating factors to keep me eating clean, yet I'm not exercising the willpower to do it. I'll get there.

I'm kind of stuck in a mental rut. I've been reading so many articles lately about making sure you're fueling yourself correctly and in adequate amounts, and eating at the right time. It's just so overwhelming. I'm trying to do it all right because ever since April I've been demanding a LOT from my body and I don't want to hurt it in the long run. Plus I feel like my mojo for the workouts has been declining a little. Granted the workouts are getting harder and I've been adding more weight, so it's expected that my performance will decline a little. Seriously I need to stop overthinking this so much.

Back in the Saddle Again

Once again, I'm sorry for being the worst blogger on the planet. Now where did I leave off...

So the last time I updated this I was reaching the end of my week vacation from CrossFit. I was feeling a little antsy, but my muscles were thanking me. I'd signed onto the waitlist for Monday's class but when I got the email telling me to show up it was too late and I couldn't have made it there. Very frustrating since it looked like a lot of masochistic fun (no I'm not being sarcastic). So I went for a run with Melissa instead.

The workout was Day 1 of Week 4, which was a 5 min. warm-up, 3 minute jog, 1.5 minute walk, 5 minute jog, 2.5 minute walk, 3 minute jog, 1.5 minute walk, 5 minute jog, 5 minute cool-down. This was the first time we were being asked to jog 5 minutes at a time. I was feeling really strong with the 3 minute jogs, but bumping it up to 5 was a little intimidating. We started off strong, the 3 minute jog went quickly. At the beginning of the 5 minute jog I took note of what distance we were at because I was curious about how far we'd get. Got through the 5 minute jog without too many issues. It was tough but doable without having to decrease my usual speed too much. Final verdict was that we had gone 0.41 miles in that time. Not too bad. I was hoping for a 1/2 mile. The next 3 minute jog came and I was really feeling it. Then there was the 5 minute jog and I died. Just everything got tired all at once. I actually had to stop for 30 seconds to catch my breath a little towards the middle of it. Our distance went up to 2.26 miles and our final pace ended up being 11:31 min/mile. Not too bad but definitely slower than we've been going lately.

Tuesday was a day off. And by day off, I mean I worked all day. Wasn't too horrible of a day though.

Wednesday I did a two-fer. Started off the morning at the gym. Was so good to be back.

Wednesday's Workout:

Skill
3 rounds
3-8 muscle ups/pull ups
8-12 pistol squats
2-5 rope climbs

MetCon:
3 rounds - 1 minute max effort reps, 30 second rest
Slam ball (20#)
Box jumps (20")
Burpees
Barbell back squat (45#)

I was really rusty that day. Don't know what it was but I was trying to get back into the groove of things while doing some of the hardest moves I've done in the past few months. The pull ups ended up being more of a warm-up set for me just because my shoulders were stiff from not having done pull ups in awhile. The pistol squats went ok. Rope climbs - zomg. I'm not usually afraid of heights, but something about climbing up a 15 foot rope gives me the shakes. I used one of the knotted ropes. The first time I did rope climbs, I couldn't even pull myself up to the next knot. This time I got myself up a knot before I couldn't do anymore. It wasn't much, but it's progress on the last time I did rope climbs. I'll take it for now.

The MetCon was god awful. Your total "score" was the total number of reps you got throughout the whole thing. Mine was 149, which was absolutely pitiful. Everyone else was in the 200 range. I did ok with the slam balls, generally averaged between 20 and 25. Burpees are burpees, I averaged around the 10 range. They will always suck. The back squats were actually a lot harder than I thought they would be. They were super light, but after box jumps and burpees, I was not feeling well with those. The box jumps, holy bejeezus. Now I've really made huge strides with those, and I've been really proud of it, but that day my body just did not want to jump. I jumped once and on the first try, almost fell flat on my face. Instead I kind of did a super ungraceful trip thing and landed with my shin on the corner of the box. After that I think I psyched myself out a little bit and I barely struggled through the rest of them. Usually I can get a bunch of jumps in within a minute but that day I was doing like 7-9.

Lesson learned. Sometimes taking a week off doesn't always do what you want it to do.

Wednesday evening I went for a run. After the day I had at the gym, I was not in the mood for it, but if I didn't get it done I was never going to get back to it. It was Week 4, Day 2 so same scheme as Day 1. My goal this time was to at least not stop running until the program told me to stop. Well we achieved that, but somehow our pace was even slower than before. I wasn't quite able to make much sense out of that one. I'm starting to think this program has some faults.

Thursday morning I went back to the gym for some more torture.

Thursday's Workout:

Strength:
15 min to establish 1 RM deadlift

MetCon:
21-15-9
Hang cleans (65#)
Toes to bar

The strength I was kind of excited for. I hadn't done a 1RM deadlift in a couple months so I was curious to see how I did. My previous 1RM was 185 pounds. My new one is 225. Huge jump! Got myself some invincible hamstrings up in here.

The MetCon wasn't too bad. I'm not a big hang clean person. I'm a much better power cleaner. Hang cleans are just annoying because you start like knee level and I always somehow end up tweaking one of my wrists. It's the same exact movement as a power clean, except not off the ground. Don't know why my body apparently finds that difficult. I Rx'd the hang clean weight but because I can't do a toes to bar yet, I was technically modified. I'm working on the toes to bar though. Right now I'm focusing on the range of motion and getting that down. I forget what my time was, but it was pretty much around the same time as everyone else.

Took the rest of Thursday off to recuperate before work. Had some delicious Sticky Lips for lunch. Nothin like some ribs for a nice recovery meal.

Friday's workout was kind of fun.

Strength:
7 x 1 1 power snatch + overhead squat

MetCon:
12 min AMRAP
3-6-9-12-15-18...
Front squat (65#)
Kettlebell swing (53#)

The barbell complex felt so weird. Snatches are a little difficult for me because they really focus on that explosive power you get from your hips. What I tend to do is pull too fast off the floor so I end up skipping right over my hips and I'm not allowing them to get that full extension. Just something I'll need to work on. I think my final weight was 83 pounds. It was on the higher side from what the other girls were doing, but I definitely will need to work a little more on those.

The MetCon I beasted through. I think Friday was the day that I finally shook off the residual stiffness that I was feeling. I RX'd the front squat, but since I still have yet to use a 53 pound kettlebell, I used the 44 and focused on getting it over my head every time. Let's just say I got so enthusiastic that at one point I went a little too far over my head and when combined with my sweaty hands the kettlebell may have ended up taking a little trip. I didn't launch it but it definitely left the trajectory it was supposed to follow. The idea behind this AMRAP was an ascending ladder. Everytime you got done with the two movements, you went back and tacked on 3 more reps and you kept doing that until the time was up. I finally ended at 18 reps, plus 10 front squats into the next set. Not bad in my book.

Well since my computer is about to die and we're hitting TLDR territory, I'm going to cut this one off at that. Do I regret taking a week off? No. I was slightly frustrated to find that I had to warm my body back up to CrossFit at the end of it, but I think it worked out for the best. I needed the week to get my nutrition in check. It wasn't perfect. I think I'm at about 85% paleo. I'd like it to be 95%, but it's better than the caveman-less rut I was stuck in a few weeks ago. We're slowly working on it. I'm also working on my recipe binder so it'll be easier for me to access my favorite recipes. I'm kind of worried with summer coming because I tend to eat lighter/colder meals. I've gotten so much practice with hot and heavy meals that I could use to get me through the winter that I now have to change my thinking around to the lighter ones I eat during the summer. Summer is also a killer for me with the ice cream and potato salad and all the other signature summer dishes. I'm just screwed in general. I need to like sequester myself in a place where no bad foods can reach me. Maybe a padded room with a kitchen. That would work swimmingly.

Reflections of a CrossFitter

Well this has been a pretty good week!

Monday I took the day off from CrossFit, ran, and then worked the evening. Running was awful. I dragged through the entire thing. Not to mention it was SUPER windy so we ended up getting double the exercise than what we wanted. Didn't have the chance to head to the store for food so I ended up eating Boston Market for dinner. To be fair, I had a fairly good dinner. Not paleo, but it wasn't crap. Tuesday I kinda had the same crappy schedule. Woke up and was eating breakfast when I started realizing just how much I had to get done this week before a weekend of work was upon me. So in 3 and a half hours I went to the ATM, washed myself, washed the dog, and went grocery shopping. It was fairly skilled in itself let me tell ya. I had to be at work for another evening so I didn't get to food prep like I wanted to. I just ended up bringing leftovers for food. Wednesday I spent the entire day painting/cleaning Rothberg's new house. It was a day for some serious active rest. Got home well into the evening and got to work on food prepping.

I made some roasted eggplant, sweet potato and zucchini chips, mashed sweet potatoes, mashed cauliflower, and some boiled eggs. It was good to get a lot of the sides out of the way since I just end up baking a lot of my proteins. Was going to make Turkey Meatballs but I was exhausted by the end of all that, so I just prepped my food for Thursday and went to bed.

Yesterday I worked for 14 hours. Woke up at 530 so I didn't have time to eat at home. My breakfast was cottage cheese with cut up strawberries and two turkey hot dogs. I decided that while I was going to be paleo, cottage cheese makes for a good to-go meal so it's the one dairy I'm allowing. Cheese is also the only kind of dairy that I can tolerate. Go figure. My mid-morning "snack" was half of a berry muffin. I know it's not paleo, but thank goodness I had it. My partner and I decided to go do some errands and grab salads for lunch. I'd brought lunch but I wanted to get a little side salad. I got a spinach/romaine mix with artichokes, black olives, roasted red pepper, and egg, with balsamic vinagrette. Well...in the middle of all this we get a call. Yeah, "lunch" wasn't had until 430. I was about to eat my right hand. Plus I was dehydrated since I'd left my water bottle at base. Along with that I had my lunch of tuna fish wrapped in turkey bologna with a tomato on the side. It was delicious, albeit late. Dinner happened when I finally got home. I baked a pork chop and had some mashed sweet potatoes. I also took the time to prep some turkey meatballs, which are delicious. It's just ground turkey, artichokes, and onions baked together at 350 for like 20 minutes. I cheated a little and made them in a muffin tin. The recipe makes 12 decent-sized muffins.

Today I'm sitting at RIT for graduation all day...and tomorrow too. I brought turkey muffins, salad, sweet potato chips and celery to help keep me away from cheats. We'll see what happens. I've been a lot better this week than I thought I would be. I've at least been fairly consistent. 2 out of my 3 meals everyday have been paleo. Now just to get it to 3/3. I'm not complaining too much though. It's a step above where I was.

My body is not happy that I took the week off. Well, it was happy Monday and most of Tuesday, and it all went downhill from there. All my joint pains that I'd been keeping at bay came back. Not to mention I kept checking the WODs everyday and all I wanted to do was go. But all the classes were full so it's not like I could have done anything last minute. So back to the grind on Monday!

So as I'm going along, I realized I never told you guys about the reflection I did after I did my baseline and the PR board! I'mma fix that. We'll start with the reflection.

After every baseline we fill out a reflection on our accomplishments and what's holding us back from reaching our goals. Mind you, I wrote these things down at the beginning of April so there have already been some changes.

My accomplishments from January - April:
Lost 14 pounds (Paleo challenge)
Finally found a diet that works
Finished the paleo challenge
Worked out consistently and learned how to kick some ass
Learned how to take care of myself before others 
Dedicated myself and learned how to push my limits
Started running again (and haven't died yet!)

What is stopping you/holding you back?
This question was hard, but I put myself. I've learned to tell the unsupportive people around me to shut their mouths. Now it's just all on me, and my inherent inability to be able to say no to the temptations of ice cream.

3 month vision, what you want to see/do in the next 3 months...
Catalyst Games!
Run a 5k
Lose 20 more pounds
Handstands
Double Unders
Keep kicking ass!

What are you going to do to attain your vision...
Workout 4x/week, run 2-3x/week
Get back on paleo
Don't settle for less in workouts
Work on movements after class

So obviously I've already accomplished some of my goals. I competed in the catalyst games and I now know how to do a handstand. I've also continued to kick ass all the time. The 5k is a work in progress. The losing a few pounds is a serious work in progress. Double unders...gah! We'll get there.

So the PR board. In April, I PR'd my back squat, my push press, and my baseline, so I got put on the gym PR board for the month which was awesome! What I didn't know was that I made it to the leader board. I'm in third place in the entire gym for my back squat and my push press. Back squat I need to add about 50 more pounds to be in the lead. For the push press I don't need to go up as much, but that movement gets harder with very small increment additions, versus back squat.

Ultimately, I didn't go into CrossFit to get on a leader board. I was loving being on the PR board though because that one truly showed my accomplishments. I'm not a huge competitive person. I compete against myself since I'm my own worst critic in the worst way possible. Other than that, I never anticipated that I'd be at the same level as some of my coaches someday. I've already decided that  one day I want to be a CrossFit coach. Maybe in a couple years I may start looking into it, but it's definitely going to be a long term goal of mine. All the coaches I've met are so supportive in every way possible and they truly want you to succeed. I want to pass that on. I'm still going to be a PA, but from a fitness world point of view, I've definitely found my "calling" so to speak. It's a very cool thing.

The Fun Continues!

This past week I really turned the heat up with the workouts. I went to the gym Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday; ran on Tuesday and Thursday. They came up with a new plan at the gym because of the way some people were getting scheduled for classes. If you were a person that only gets to go on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you got a lot of the skill work while the Monday, Wednesday, Friday people got strength. So they changed it up so it's a little more balanced.

Monday's Workout:

Skill:
3 rounds
2 min handstand work
8-12 knees to elbow, working on unbroken
1 min double-under practice

MetCon:
3 rounds
10 DB clean and jerk
10 DB goblet squats
200m run

Midline:
100 abmat sit-ups

My handstand work got quite hysterical at some points. I spent a lot of time almost getting it and then falling in a heap on the floor at the last minute. It was very graceful work lemme tell ya. With the knees to elbow, I know I'm not getting a toes to bar anytime soon so I just worked on trying to get that range of motion with my hips. It's hard work so I couldn't necessarily get them unbroken. Double unders...those damn things are pissing me off. They just haven't clicked with me yet. Kind of frustrating since I almost had them that one time a few weeks ago but I had to stop since I was getting tired. Almost wish I'd just kept going.

They're really killing us with the running lately. Luckily this MetCon only had a 200m run. Prescribed for the dumbbells was 50 pounds. I think I ended up using 40. I wanted to go prescribed again, but the problem with dumbbells is that I really start to notice how uneven my arms still are. I'm strong with a barbell but when you isolate my left arm, I'm still fairly weak. I forget what my exact time was but it put me about in the middle of the pack. I was feeling a little sluggish that day. Having a case of the Mondays. I felt a little better after doing the sit-ups. I'm getting pretty good at those. Now if only I could get rid of the pudge that's covering the muscles I'm building. Grr.

After that workout I decided I wanted to work on handstands a little more. So I gave it a few more tries and finally got it! I could even hold it for a short amount of time! I made sure to do it a few more times just to solidify it. It's actually kind of funny. Doing a wall walk into a handstand hurts so much more than actually doing the handstand. I don't know why I just didn't start handstands sooner. Don't know how soon I'll be doing push-ups though.

Tuesday I went back to the gym for the early morning workout. I decided to start going Tuesdays instead of Thursdays since it got progressively harder and harder for me to leave RITA on Thursday morning and head to the gym.

Strength:
5 x 5 bench press -- every 2 min.

MetCon:
AMRAP 15 minutes
10 pull ups
15 box jumps
20 unbroken front squat -- 5 burpees for dropping the bar

The strength was interesting. I hadn't done a single bench press in god knows how long. I partnered up with Karen, who also is about the same strength level as me. I think I finally maxed out at 95 pounds? I forget/I didn't count very well.

The MetCon was kind of fun in a sick and twisted sort of way. I love Tuesdays since it means we get Chad yelling at us. To some it may be terrifying, to others it just spurs us on some more. I had my green band for the pull ups, but everything else I did as prescribed (20" box jumps and 65 pounds for the front squats). I was kind of worried about the box jumps since Chad caught me getting my running head start and he told me to try not to since I was more likely to fall on my face as I got tired. I thought it was solid logic. The front squats I knew were going to be tough. Front squats are not my strong point and doing 20 of them was going to be rough, but I was determined that I would not be doing any burpees. Nay nay I say! In 15 minutes, I did 3 complete rounds plus 5 pull ups. My goal was 3, so I surpassed it a little bit. I was taking big breaks between the box jumps and squats since I didn't want to do any burpees. I surprised myself with the box jumps though. I actually started doing them without any kind of head start. I just jumped on the box. I don't know if I'm just getting better with jumps, but they really didn't seem that bad at all. Once I got a rhythm I just kept going. And I didn't do a single burpee!

Melissa and I went running a few hours later. It was our first day of doing Week 3, which is 2 rounds of jog a minute and a half, walk a minute and a half, jog 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes. We went about the same distance and pace that we have been doing lately. The jogging for 3 minutes part was tough, but it's about the same amount of time that it takes me to run 400m at the gym so I wasn't like really pushing myself past my limit.

Wednesday's workout was rough. It was my third day in a row, plus my body hadn't really been feeling very well all week.

Skill:
3 rounds
30-40 sec L sit
10-15 KB walking lunges
8-12 ring rows

MetCon:
EMOM 10 minutes
5 push presses
10 sit ups

Midline:
3 x 8 GHD back extensions (very slow!)

I knew I was really sluggish when the skill work came and I just was dragging through it. I did a lot better at the L sits than I thought I would. I used the dip bar so my legs wouldn't be dragging on the ground. I modified it and instead of straightening my legs, I kept them bent. I was able to hold myself up a lot longer than I thought I could. The walking lunges were terrible. My legs were so tired. Same with the ring rows.

The MetCon really pushed me past my limit. What they did with this one was that if you fell behind, your score was the number of rounds you completed within the one minute. I got 7 out of 10, which wasn't very bad at all. I was a little disappointed with the push presses because I knew I was capable of lifting more. Prescribed was 115, which I should have been able to do, but I ended up going with 95. My left shoulder hurt so badly and I just dragged my way through it. I felt awful. Probably the worst I've felt during a workout in a long time.

Afterwards, I went and talked to a chiropractor that's a member and helps us all out whenever we've got issues. I could feel this huge knot in the front of my shoulder. So he checked it out and apparently the problem was that my pec muscles were so tight that they were rubbing against my bicep tendon and irritating it. So I got told to ice, and roll with a tennis ball, and mobilize better next time. It's since gone away but that pain was terrible.

Thursday I took a "day off." And by day off I mean I just took a day off from the gym, not being active. Since I had the day completely off from work and everything else I dedicated it to trying to tackle my to-do list. Later on in the afternoon, Melissa and I went running. It was day 2 of the two rounds of minute and a half jog, minute and a half walk, 3 minute jog, 3 minute walk. I definitely feel like running is starting to get a lot easier for me. I'm still jogging, but it's a little faster and I'm not dying towards the end. It's really cool! I missed being a runner. It's also kind of nice that they're making us run during our workouts in the gym since I get a true high intensity workout with that, which is starting to transfer into when I just run.

After that I went over to Rothberg's to have spaghetti and then we ended up going on a 6 mile walk (<_<). Definitely hadn't planned on that one. It was a nice scenic route with a lot of hills. I was done by the time I got back home. It felt like another day at the gym. Not to mention, I had some serious water baby and carb baby going on. It felt like I'd put back on every single one of the 30 pounds I'd lost over the past 6 months. Felt gross. I'd spent the entire week retaining water, and then I put spaghetti on top of it. Never again.

Friday I went back to the gym, and let me tell you, I dragged just as badly as Wednesday.

Strength:
5 x 5 - 1 power snatch + 1 overhead squat

MetCon:
5 KB snatches
100 singles
7 KB snatches
100 singles
9 KB snatches
100 singles
11 KB snatches

It was a little less painful than Wednesday, but my body was not happy with me. I struggled through the snatch/overhead squat complex, only used 53 pounds even though I'm more than capable of doing more than that. It was kind of ok because I really needed to work on form anyway, but it still sucked.

The MetCon wasn't too bad. It could have been worse. I'd never done KB snatches before. It's almost the same as when you're using a barbell except you're doing it one-handed. It was a little bit awkward, especially with my left arm, but it was pretty fun. Had to use the 26 pound kettlebell since my left arm is still so much weaker on its own. One day I'll get double unders, mostly because I'm tired of having to do double the amount of singles.

The rest of the weekend was relatively uneventful. I definitely found my motivation to get back on track though. My body is literally rejecting anything I give it. I don't know what it is. I give it any kind of gluten and it gets mad. Some lactose is ok, but it depends on the source. Like I can have cheese, and that's about it. I've had migraines for the past 2 days and I just feel awful. So I guess my body decided to give me its own piece of motivation. I'm going food shopping tomorrow. I think I'm going to strategize a little better this time. Instead of making the big huge meals first and then trying to scrounge up some ideas of what to eat as a side the day of, I'm going to start with the sides first. Grill up some veggies, and make a big batch of roasted cauliflower/broccoli, along with some mashed sweet potatoes. I'm hoping just making everything all at once instead of piecemealing it will keep me from guessing. I should probably start portioning things out all at once too. I might stop at Walmart and grab some of those sectioned containers so that I can portion things out and call it a day. We'll see how ambitious I get with things.

Either way I've decided to take the week off from the gym. I'll still run with Melissa a couple times, but other than that I want to take this week and focus on my eating. It became clear to me last week that if I don't do something soon I'm going to crash and burn. Plus, I've been working myself hard for the past 2 months. I can't remember the last time I took an actual break from working out, but with me pushing myself past my limits every workout, on top of running, on top of emotional stress, my poor body needs some R&R, and decent nutrition. So this week nutrition is going to be my focus, and getting myself out of this toxic hangover I've put myself in.

I can officially say I'm all caught up! Phew. Time for a (healthy) snack.