Alright, I've had my off week. Tomorrow is back on schedule and gearing up for the Paleo Challenge. I'm not at work tonight (thank God), so it's going to take nothing short of a zombie apocalypse to keep me from getting to the gym. I had my sad/numb day today, now I'm just plain out angry. I've had enough of people telling me what THEY think I'm good at or asking me if I'm cut out for the things I do. I'm sorry, but unless you follow me around 24/7 and actually take notes on my life, you have no freaking idea what I'm capable of. In the 5 minutes it's taking you to judge me for a mistake or a moment of weakness that I had, that's 5 minutes you could have spent on improving your own life and moments of self-doubt. People are right, I do put a lot of pressure on myself. I don't need the added pressure of others thinking I need to be perfect. Are you perfect? I highly doubt it. I'm just so frustrated with people in my life that call themselves leaders, but instead choose to judge and act unprofessional and then turn around and tell you that they'd like to help you grow. I'm sorry, but I generally don't trust people that stab me in the back and then tell me that I essentially should have seen it coming.
I really hope tomorrow's workout involves some sort of slamming things into the floor. The number of faces that I can picture needing a good beating swiftly grew in the past 24 hours. It would be ok if they were people that I didn't respect to begin with, but I respected and looked up to these people. They like to tell me how disappointed in me that they are, but they have no clue how disappointed I am in them. I'm carrying around the weight of disappointment in myself as well as feeling disappointed from their actions. Maybe they should try that weight on for size and see if they can squat with it.
In other news, my body feels like it got run over by a truck again. I still haven't fully recovered from that workout on Thursday. I worked myself hard, but not to the extent that I should still be feeling it today. I think getting back on track is going to be easier just because I know how awful I feel right now. I'm not getting the right number of the right nutrients currently and I'm feeling it. I feel sluggish, bloated and my head feels like it's going to explode from the ongoing headache. Working since Tuesday night hasn't exactly helped considering the beating your body takes with all the lifting. Even trying not to slip on the ice these days feels like a workout.
So I've got 10 more days until school is over, 11 days until the NCEMSF conference, 5 days until the Paleo Challenge starts and 75 days until the Catalyst Games. I can honestly say I won't be running out of things to look forward to anytime soon. I'm also taking a week off from March 4th to the 11th. With all the crap going on at work, it was conveniently timed for when we're supposed to put in availability for March. Let's just say it became easy for me to click those "not available" buttons. I don't know what I'm doing yet. Hell, I may even just stay in my house for a week and only leave to go to the gym or food shopping. I may even spend some quality time reading a book or something. Regardless of what I do, it's still a week off and that's pretty much all that matters right now.
Here's to hoping I can get back into the swing of things!
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