So it's been way too hot to exist outside this weekend so for once I'm writing this from the comfort of my couch. I don't know what happened after Friday, but it currently feels like we live in Florida. Needless to say, I spent most of the weekend in the comfort of my AC.
I'm not even really sure where this weekend went. I've been off work since Wednesday and it's gone by so fast I have no idea what I've been doing with my life or if I ended up doing anything useful. I can't even remember what I did Friday other than start cleaning up the house a little bit. Saturday we got up and went to the market in the morning. This week, Matt found some recipe for deconstructed philly cheesesteaks. You basically slice up the steak and put it in tinfoil with peppers and onions and just toss it on the grill. So we grabbed a thing of flat iron steak and a thing of skirt steak from a local butcher for that along with some pork chops for a second meal. We marinated the pork chops in Chiavetta's again and threw that in the sous vide. Can you tell we love our sous vide yet? After that he went off to work and I did random sundry things around the house like cleaning up our office and our guest bedroom that have basically looked like an explosion occurred since like May. Pretty sure I did plenty of sitting around too.
Sunday we had good intentions of getting a lot done. In all fairness, we DID get the laundry done and knocked off a good chunk of our thank you cards.......but we also put a decent amount of work into building our Lego Death Star. And then went to see Jurassic World (so good, by the way). Because of that, the meal prepping got done tonight....oops. Which, honestly it's fine. We had leftovers and I was off today so it wasn't the worst thing ever.
Today was gym dayyyyy. The workout was:
4x6 front squat with tempo
3x10 dumbbell curl with tempo
then...
3 rounds for time
7 sumo deadlift
15 hand release pushups
30 calories on the bike
3 min rest
I was so excited to see no split squats. Like exceptionally excited. We were told to do about 65% of our 1 rep max front squat. I went with 85 pounds, which was closer to 55%. My knee was a little displeased about squatting so I took it a little easier, but it still felt challenging towards the end of the sets. Dumbbell curls weren't too bad. I definitely could have gone heavier than I did. We'll keep that one in mind for next week for sure. The workout itself wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The sumo deadlifts, I did 85 pounds which felt fine. Life continues to get so much better now that I know how to deadlift safely. I modified the hand release push ups to push ups with a kid bar. It's basically a bar you attach to the rig and it helps take away some of the weight you have to lift. I was just worried because I knew I wouldn't be able to do the prescribed push ups and keep adequate form. The bike had me nervous. I'm not the best at calories on the bike AKA it takes me forever. So I told myself to just see where I am. If I'm at 20 calories and everyone is well into their rest period I would just stop. Well I hit the 20 calories and at least all the women in the gym were still going so I ended up doing the 30 calories for all the rounds. To put it in perspective that's like a 3 minute bike ride at a decent pace. My total time, including the built in rest was 18:33. Biking is certainly not my best subject. I'm "decent" at it in short bursts amongst the girls that come to the 5AM, but once you start to add in more intervals and longer distance, I start to suck pretty quickly and just don't have the endurance to keep up. So the bike is definitely a source of anxiety. But I have yet to meet anyone in the gym that's like YEAH BIKES so I guess I have a little solidarity on my side.
Now on to the real talk.
I was naughty this weekend. Like I'm probably not going to think about stepping on the scale until next Saturday naughty. So we decided Thursday was going to be our date night. We went to Grappa for dinner and followed it up with ice cream for dessert. It was very delicious and so worth it. And I think my body was still going through some refeeding process because I dropped 2 pounds the next day. No idea how that happened. But then Saturday I got invited out for drinks/dinner by the river. I initially had good intentions. I looked up the menu beforehand, decided what salad I was going to get. Life would be good. And then I got there and ordered a cheeseburger wrap with fries. And a hard cider. Alright, no prob, not the end of the world. Then yesterday we woke up and ended up at a local diner for breakfast. I won't even tell you what I ate there because it probably was all of my calories for the day once you factor in the amount of oil they use. We skipped lunch because we were full, had a nice healthy dinner......and then had a popcorn at the movie. Well now my digestive system is just pissed. Like so mad I was having stomach cramps during the workout today, which I haven't had in weeks.
Was it worth it? I think so? It was nice to get out with Matt after not seeing him for pretty much over a week and we had a good time. It was really nice to go out with some friends that I normally only see at work. And it was nice to let someone else do the cooking for once. And movie popcorn is just its own category of delicious. I guess I'm a little disappointed that I didn't try to make better choices at the places I went to, because I could have. It wouldn't have been ideal, but it would have been better than what I did do. But it is what it is. I had a good time and I can't regret that.
What has me worried is that we're at that 3 week mark where it's about that time that I start to fall apart and having the cheats over the weekend has got my snack tooth salivating again. I feel like I lost a little of my focus and drive over the weekend and I know that I'm going to have to work super hard this week to get it back or I'm likely going to get myself into some trouble. And I have to do it with as little self-deprecation as possible because that's really never worked out for me. It's partly why I'm happy to be going back to work tomorrow. It gets me out of the house, away from the snacks, and forces me into a much more regimented routine than if I was just home alone all day. Not to mention, I'm obviously much more active physically at work than I would be at home. But I also don't want to go back because....well, work.
Part of the problem is that I still have a lot of leftover macro-heavy snacks in the house from my week on overnights. I've got things like greek yogurt and cheese and salami and peanut butter, none of which are bad, but really chip away at your macros much faster than other foods. They were great to have when I was eating two meals a day. But now that I'm back on a daytime schedule, I was still trying to fit them in over the weekend and it just wasn't going well. So if I want to continue eating those foods, I really have to work harder to plan them in (or eat miniscule amounts of them). So there's one tough aspect that I still struggle with. Before, I was having difficulty meeting a lot of my macros. Except for carbs. Carbs will never be an issue. And now I feel like I'm finding some really good, macro-rich foods that I enjoy eating - but I have to be careful how I combine them. It's not to say that I'm excessively going over my goals on a daily basis, but I am still going over at least a little and it's taking a little more daily planning/coordination. Definitely didn't see myself having this issue when this first started.....
So honestly I think this week is going to be a complete head game for me. I know I need to get my head back in the game and I want to. But this is always the point where I either slip up and fall down a hole I won't get out of....or I keep going. I'm hoping I do the latter this time. I gotta believe this is at least some tough part of the process and if I get through it, things will be just a little easier. But I have to get through it. And like I said, I'm fortunate that I can use my work schedule to my advantage, but it's not like that's foolproof. There's still vending machines and a cafeteria I need to keep myself out of. And that's not even counting any moments this week that are going to make me want wine and ice cream for dinner. Because I know those are coming. The struggle's real guys. I was really hoping after getting through last week that I'd be in the clear, but apparently that was just physically, now I have a mental battle to win.
Not to sound whiny for half this post. I DO feel better going into this week. My house is a lot cleaner than it was. Our cooking and our laundry is done. My lunch is already packed for tomorrow. So overall, we've set ourselves up in a much more controlled manner than last week, but this is just the reality I face all the time and I've never been able to fight back because there was always something else that came up too to distract me from caring for me. It's my "it's easier to be fat" struggle. Because it is. This isn't all proud moments and having fun at the gym. Shit's hard, man. But maybe this time I can actually fight for it.
Until next time folks! If I don't melt first...
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